Three little piggs were sent into the wide, wild world.  They were left to fend for themselves.  Being siblings, they didn’t agree on anything and went their seperate ways.  Pigg #1, (Cedric) discovering that he no longer had a room in Ma Pigg’s home, started gathering straw, thinking he could build a house from it.  It was originally only planned as a temporary structure, for the night, basically.  So he constructed a crude wigwam-like structure.  He bound it at the top with twine, which he happened to have in his back pocket.  He then proceeded to decorate the place as best he could.

Being Ma Pigg’s most creative little Pigg, he added charming little wind chimes to dangle in the doorway & the window.  With the leftover straw, he braided the most beautiful doormat.  He wanted his guests to wipe their feet before entering. 

Chuck, however, saw that his little brother was making a big booboo.  He went & gathered bamboo.  Now let me make this quite clear:  There were NO sticks involved.  It was probably always assumed that they were sticks though.  What most of us don’t know, however, is that Chuck had a girlfriend from the East somewhere.  (Viet Nam, I think.)  Hence the Eastern influence regarding the bamboo. 

Anyway, Chuck constructed panels, using wood for the framework.  Then he nailed the bamboo to the frame, securing the ends with neat little blobs of contact adhesive.  The panels were attached to each other in the corners, using twine he had zapped from Cedric earlier.  Come to think of it, if Chuck hadn’t stolen from his brother, Cedric would have had more twine to work with.  And who knows....?

Chuck’s pad had a flat roof, of course.  Not clever, considering the fact that the rainy season was at hand.  He never even slanted it one bit.  So wolf or no wolf, it wouldn’t have survived anyway.  So huff & puff or not, Chuck’s place was doomed from day one. 

Also, Chuck’s chick was not chuffed with the place, it having had absolutely no plumbing or electricity.  Chuck did try to get an electrician he knew from school, to do the electricity thing for him.  But he just left laughing, and was apparently never seen again.  Well, not until Chubby called him.

Chubby, on the other hand, understood the Local Council rules & regulations, and submitted properly drawn plans.  Being in Africa though, having these approved, takes a really long time.  So Chubby decided to start the foundation of his house, before getting proper approval from the Council.  Knowing that his siblings’ dwellings were soon to be a thing of the past, and that they would probably be relying on him for accommodation in the very near future, he planned 3 bedrooms.  En suite of course.  Who wants to share a bathroom with a Pigg anyway?

By the time the foundations were done, his building plans still had not been approved.  He was getting really annoyed because he had heard that the Wolf (on whose property he was planning to build) had got wind of the situation.  He wanted to get the building done before the Wolf could try to knock it down. 

So he paid someone at the Council to rush the paperwork.  Pigg!  The Wolf, incidentally, had laughed at Chubby’s earlier offer for the small bit of land.  Chubby, however, thought that it was so small a piece of land, that the Wolf wouldn’t mind, or notice if just built on it anyway.

Chubby’s house went up in record time, and what a lovely place it was!  Sturdy construction, good roof tiles, with a  garage big enough to park his cars, his boat, his camper and his Hogg.  (Of course!)

His brother Cedric took care of the decorating.  Chubby gave him carte blanche, but put his foot down regarding the use of any shade of pink.  Unfortunately he wasn’t that specific regarding the use of all sorts of shades of purple, mauve, lavender & lilac.  There was Organza & Chenilles and the most beautiful accessories with stunning beadwork.  The most beautiful Swarovski Crystals adorned the lamp shades. 

Chuck’s chick went ballistic because she wanted to Feng Shui the place.  But Chubby was rather into clutter, and just shrugged her off.

By the time the THING with the Wolf happened, Chuck & Co wasn’t on speaking terms with anyone anyway.  Ma Pigg noticed this and being really sorry for having thrown out her brood by now, was begging Chuck & his Eastern Delight to move in with her.  But that’s another story.  I heard it all came to light on the Jerry Springer show.

So:  By the time the THING happened, there wasn’t anyone living in the flat roof dwelling anyway.  Well not legally, at least.  It was, in the mean time, taken over by a family of Ratts from down the road.  But that, once again, is another story.  All I know is, they HATED music, having been driven from their previous abode by it.

Rumour has it that the Wolf attacked without warning.  Well I wasn’t there myself, but I have read the Wolf’s side of the story.  Have you?